The theme of 2013 was all-around-sucktastic. 4 ER trips with theboy and the multiple months of deteriorating health leading up to it, coupled with moving in together and other daily stresses…2013 nearly broke me, theboy, and our relationship.
But we survived. And we had a lot of good times too. And seeing as how he is now finally, FINALLY on the mend and I don’t foresee another ER trip in our future…this Thanksgiving, I know that I have so, so much to be thankful for. So, indulge me in my sap while I revel in the beauty of hope and happiness.
3 more weeks.
Just went through 4 years of tweets to delete the expletives, negatives, and judgments because of this article.
What I learned: I love the Chargers a little too much. I don’t remember half the things I tweeted about. I had an awesome college experience. I miss tweeting.
A coworker’s daughter came in to trick-or-treat today. During our conversation, she stopped eating her cookies and turned to her mother with “mommy, tell me more about your day.”
I am not good with expressing my emotions. Be it human nature, the stoic Asian way, a brave face, whatever…apart from rage or hiding behind a computer screen, I’m horrible with it.
When it is a deep hurt, I used to role play some tragic way-more-dramatic-than-reality-but-the-pain-level-was-the-same scenario and through that, the tears would begin to flow.
I haven’t really done that since I met theboy. I haven’t needed to. The hurts have started to hurt less, yknow?
But here we are. Again. For the third time. Back at the hospital. Back to struggling with the but-you-just-stopped-the-antibiotics-and-just-said-he-would-be-okay. Back to fighting the battle of keeping our hopes up while the gut is sinking.
His mom was up for a promotion this month but is now going to pass it up because it’s just too much. I have been struggling with keeping my head afloat while working and schooling and grad-apping and trying to make sure theboy is okay while still doing me. And I too, am ready to throw in the towel on this grad-app round because it really. is. too. much.
I had a friend prod and ask why I was even applying this year, that it didn’t seem like I wanted it that much.
And you know what, maybe I don’t. If never getting into grad school and never becoming an SLP and working in my administrative position forever - if all of that meant Troy was healthy again and we were off this hellish ride, then maybe that’s all I need in my life.
That is all.